A man with oral HSV-1 who is never have a genital outbreak feels very frustrated wish to have genital herpes so that he can find a popular support group to connect with other people with herpes. An expert of a Herpes Support Forum gives him advice about how to have safe sex and herpes dating tips.
Q: I have hsv 1 oral which I know the majority of the population has….I never had a genital outbreak ever but I believe I have transmitted genital to two women in the past…my thing there are so few with hsv 1 and I’m intimidated with getting into a relationship with anybody with hsv 2. I’m just really frustrated and wanted to vent to someone anonymously….sometimes I wish I would just have a genital breakout just to feel that I belong to a community but although I never have. I still think I may be a genital carrier with what happened in two of my past relationships….i just feel so hopeless about finding someone on a herpes club that I would be actually compatible with that would be interested in me. And in the world outside of this I would venture to say 95 percent of women would not be interested if I was upfront and honest about herpes. I just don’t see that ever happening. So lately I have been accepting that I may end up alone for the rest of my life and that is really depressing. Sorry I just really needed to vent.
A: Why do you believe you transmitted HSV-1 to a partner genital? The only way how you could have transmitted the virus to a partner genitally is if you performed oral sex on that person. If you don’t have genital herpes and if a partner doesn’t have genital herpes the virus won’t spread through sexual intercourse. Herpes is only spread by coming in direct oral or genital contact with the virus. HSV-1 spreads genitally about 5-10% of all genital herpes cases.
An individual with oral HSV-1 could have a successful relationship with an individual who has genital HSV-2. It’s important to educate a partner about how herpes is spread. There is at least a 80% chance that a sexually active adults has oral HSV-1. Most people who carry HSV-1 antibodies don’t have outbreaks seem the body often weakens the virus. The chances are a partner already carries the antibodies. There is always a chance that a partner could catch the virus and have outbreaks. If kissing takes place the virus is bound to spread over a course of time. On a positive note herpes rarely causes health issues and the condition is usually managed. Even a simple cold sore is caused by herpes. Many people don’t realize this.
Why do you feel you could have genital herpes? Don’t feel that a female won’t want to be with you. It may take a little longer to meet the right person. There are plenty of good females who would date you at herpes communities. It’s just important to be fully educated about how herpes is spread and to discuss safe sex. The chance of passing the virus to a partner could be low. Telling a partner about your situation shows you care about the other person’s well being. Continue doing the things you enjoy. When a life changing situation happens it’s common to thing negative. Try to turn any negative thoughts to a positive thought.